Post Sat Apr 12, 2014 11:15 am

FanFictionFrightmare: Endless Possibilities! Chapt 1-2

Alright, since I’ve made a “triumphant” return of these Frightmares about fifty times, I’m gonna skip the pointless introductory celebrations. Instead, I’m gonna share with you something that is by far, the most amazing fanfiction I’ve found in a long time. Like, wow, it’s quite a glorious find, and it has a fucking sequel. That’s right, this is not only a 31 chapter pile of madness and what-the-fuckery, but there’s a FUCKING ADDITIONAL STORY THAT TAKES PLACE AFTER IT. In preparation for the proverbial anniversary of the FanFictionFrightmare classic My Immortal, I am more than ecstatic to damage my brain cells over this. Now without further ado, let’s board this abomination straight into hell itself… I present…
Endless Possibilites
Even the titles has me excited!

How long has it been since last I saw the accursed sun?

“You will not get away this time demon! This ends now!” The warrior charged forward, shimmering blade slicing through the darkness. The monster howled in agony, twisting into the form of a great shadow dragon. The beast spewed the very flames of Hell itself at the warrior. But the Nameless Prince, in a stunning display of courage and power, sliced through the fire.

His weak mortal flesh covered in bloody lacerations, his sweat streaked hair torn from its top knot in a tangled mess, and his stained robe little more than shreds of cloth hanging on a powerful body, for all of the warrior's weakness in his eyes the devil found unshakable courage. Looking into those eyes, the demon felt, for the very first time, true fear.

Alright, this is actually starting off decently, I’ll give it that much. This sounds like a familiar cartoon we all love, let’s see how right I am…

“Your reign of terror is over! Aku!”


Ok totally called that shit. A Samurai Jack fic? Haven’t done that before, and the lack of tentacle rape from Aku is a refreshing break from the evil of everything else I’ve ever riffed before.

Samurai Jack...the Nameless Prince...the forgotten warrior...the greatest hero...

“No! This...this cannot be...” The demon fell, barely able to hold himself up on once invincible arms. The Samurai stalked closer, limping, tired, bleeding out...unstoppable. The demon's flaming eyes rose up and stared into the Prince's eyes. Somehow, those mortal orbs held more fire than his own.

“You...will not trick me again. There will be no escape, there will be no more games. This is the end, Aku,” Before the demon could react, the Samurai lifted his blade—that damnable sword, forged by the very power of good and righteousness itself—and brought it down, right between the demon's eyes. All of his omnipotent power left him, and, howling like a pathetic worm, the great master of evil felt his immortal life come to an end.


The man who slayed...the unstoppable, the immortal Aku

The Samurai stood victorious, watching as the lifeless sludge that once made up the demon's body now began to melt away. With a resolute nod, he ceremoniously tied up his hair, sheathed his holy blade, and turned. The nightmare now forever behind him, the Nameless Prince left the Pit of Hate, and went on to create his own future. The lifeless sludge seeped down into the pit, buried beneath the collapsing Hell around it. Gone, forever.


Pretty obvious that Aku’s gonna come back. It’s both the nature of his character, the nature of him being a villain, and the nature of every fanfiction writer in history to refuse to acknowledge that the dead are dead. Sigh…

How long has it been since I last saw the accursed sun? I hope they've enjoyed it

The Pit of Hate was closed forever, and the site where it once lay forgotten. The Samurai fell in love, married, and had a family. And that family splintered off, eventually setting out into a new world. Eventually...one of the distant sons of that Nameless Prince would come back. Back to Japan. Back to that forgotten site.

The sun can't shine forever without casting a shadow...a great and powerful shadow...

What should have stayed buried forever...yearned to see the sun again. History refused to fade away, refused to simply cease being. Good had triumphed...but Evil refused to die.

We learn little from victory...

But much from defeat....

And be certain...

I have learned...yes...I have learned well


Oooohhhhhh ominous quote! How exciting! Except not, please get on with the bullshit. We both know it’s coming.

XxXxX


The author chooses to use this as a way of a page break, which is odd, given the format of the story. I choose to take this as a sign to drink every time I see it, therefore, bottoms up!

A young professor, ripe out of college, stalked the excavation site. He pulled his hard hat down over his eyes, looking around nervously. As a major in biochemistry, he'd never imagined his first day on the job would involve him traveling to Japan and digging up an old ruin.

“Utonium! Make yourself useful over here!” James Utonium jumped and nodded ferociously, hurrying over to the head of the expedition. The site was a hole, about thirteen miles deep and ten miles wide. Utonium stood at the edge of the crater, whistling as he peered into the depths.


WHAT
OH SWEET JESUS PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN’T SOME WEIRD POWERPUFF GIRL CROSSOVER WITH SAMURAI JACK

“What exactly are we looking for? I received the memo, but I can't say I completely underst-stand...” Utonium trailed off, smiling sheepishly. His superior knelt down, checking his personal palm computer.

“Tell me what you know, Utonium,” The young professor nodded, kneeling down next to the elder. He rubbed his chin while surveying the area.

“This is generally a very fertile area, except for this specific location. Nothing grows, animals don't even step onto the ground here. Very curious...” The superior nodded, clicking his tongue.


Like seriously what the shit is going on?

“That's right, so we're setting just what the hubbub is all about. My men tell me we're still working to get to the bottom of this,” The Professor whistled, standing up and shaking his head.

“Wow, that's incredible...hm?” Both looked at the head's computer, trading a grin.

“Looks like they found it, let's head down there,” Utonium gave a nod and the two walked to the lift, heading down into the pit. The deeper they went, the air grew thicker, heavier, and hotter. By the time they reached the bottom, Utonium was sweating and panting. The digging crew had surrounded a spot toward the middle of the crater.


Hasn’t a SINGLE sci-fi movie taught you NEVER to send important personnel down into the mysterious crater without having SOME form of high security? Seriously, for a bunch of smart people, y’all bitches be stupid.

“What is it men?” The two broke through the crowd, kneeling down next to the puddle that had been revealed.

“Amazing...” The Professor watched the hair on his arms rise up. Everyone could feel the charge in the air. The Professor scanned the puddle, measuring the radiation coming from it. His breath caught in his throat. The device had begun to malfunction, the radiation was so powerful. Yet somehow, none of them seemed to be affected just by being exposed to the radiation.


SO YEAH JUST STAND NEXT TO THE RADIOACTIVE PUDDLE THAT ISN’T KILLING YOU. SMART

“Interesting...”


UGH. Stupid one liner trail off sentence bullshit. Not to mention the fact that THIS IS A POWERPUFF GIRL SAMURAI JACK CROSSOVER OH MY GOD

XxXxX


If the ocean were made of vodka, and I were a duck, I’d swim down to the bottom and never come up…

Professor Utonium, a few years older, a few years wiser, stood over a glowing green flask. The mysterious substance found in Japan had proven a worthy adversary. It was a completely new substance, never before discovered by man. It held practically unlimited power, but was so volatile that it was practically useless. Years of work was quickly coming to a peak. A way to use the mysterious black substance.


For the love of Christ this better not be the reason for the girls existing. So help me if this is Chemical X….

“Just about...ugh...no...” The Professor increased the heat on the burner, biting his tongue. Any chemicals introduced to the substance simply evaporated. No change to the substance itself. But...but the Professor was verging on an answer.


Amazing how Utonium reflects my inner pain

“Now just have to alter the compound...there, this should stabilize the substance...oh...oh...there...oh my that glow...” As the Professor added the new part to the substance, it began to glow a strange green. The Professor smiled and began scanning the new chemical.


No by all means, don’t even attempt at technobabble to explain what he did to change it. No doubt it will eventually be revealed when some bullshit reason can counteract whatever bullshit is about to happen

“There...stable, without a reduction in power. I knew that family heirloom would help,” The heirloom in question was an ancient powder, an unidentifiable metal powder, passed down through the generations. It had been...a desperate sacrifice, but one that had proven correct. The powder, mixed with pure water and charged with positive ions had somehow filled in the missing gaps in the substance.


Someone I feel like I caused that terrible exposition. I am so sorry.

“What to call it...well...I'll need to gage some uses, we'll just stick with Chemical X for now. It sounds so cool!” The Professor carefully lifted the flask of the newly christened Chemical X.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh

XxXxX


… I’d swim down to the bottom, and never come up. But the ocean is not vodka, and I’m not a duck, so hand me the bottle, and shut the fuck. Seriously. Shut up

The Professor sighed while stirring his concoction. Sugar, spice, and everything nice...who was he kidding? It was a stupid, desperate idea. The Professor looked at the glowing beaker of Chemical X.

“If only there was some way to change things around here...who knows, maybe I finally figured out...oof!” The Professor jerked forward, his hands slamming through the beaker. Before he could realize the pain of the glass cutting his hands, he was blown away by a sudden eruption of white light.


Ok, aside from the stupid ass reasons behind everything, I’ll give them this ONE additional compliment. This is probably the only thing you’ll get right that’s actually canon. Ever.

The Professor groaned and slowly forced his eyes open, staring at the shattered remains of the metal pot. Eyes wide, the Professor slowly approached the table, staring at the three little figures staring at him.

“Hi!” The Professor screamed and took a step back. While he spoke with the three little girls, the sticky black substance that splattered the table began to slide away, dripping to the ground where it collected into a single point. The substance then slid away, escaping into the night, unnoticed.


Oh gee. I wonder what could possibly happen if that black sludge got into the wrong hands? Certainly not bringing back an ancient evil. Nope. Also, those girls are probably naked. Thanks for that image fuckstick

How long has it been since I last saw the accursed sun? The time is not yet arrived...but soon...soon the world will once again know...Aku...


Ok, as someone who likes to think of themselves as a writer, allow me to provide some advice: If you are going to write fanficion (I am in no way confirming or denying if I have done the same), then you have every right to add more depth to a character, not just follow the same basic premise as the source material. The issue with every fucking writer I’ve put in the starlight is that they either give a ham-fisted reason for said paradigm shift, or completely just change a core aspect of the character to fit their story. Anyway, ending rant, that was the first chapter of this… thing. So let’s try and stomach another one! Just kidding, we won’t stomach it.

Chapter 2: The ReBirth of Evil


I intentionally left out the title of the first chapter, as it would’ve given away the terrible

The City of Townsville! The sun shined down beautifully on a warm Spring day. To and fro, the townies ran about in a gleeful flurry of work and activity. Even the villains of Townsville were hard at work, given new strength by the beautiful day to go the extra mile in bringing destruction and chaos to the great city. Of those villains, none was working harder than the simian genius, Mojo Jojo.


Am I the only one picturing a strange montage of villains singing “Good Morning” but with an evil twist as they assemble their next stupid plot/machine to kill three kindergarten girls?

“Yes! Yes! Truly this will be my greatest, most powerful, most devious creation of all!” Mojo tightened the last screw, whistling his own rendition of “Janie's Got a Gun”. The supervillain stalked to his computer console, running a diagnostics check on his latest mechanical weapon of mass destruction.


Oh Christ, if they try and continue Mojo’s cadence of speech I think I might grow an ulcer.

The device itself was a fighting robot, dubbed the Ultimate Fighting Robo Jojo Mach 27.13. It took up the entire span of the room from top to bottom, with massive, sturdy legs made of silver-blue duranium, reinforced by several layers of titanium preventing any easy chance of toppling the monstrosity. The body was large and thick, packed with enough hidden weapons to take out an entire army. The arms were long and bulky, with massive hands that came down passed the Robo Jojo's knees. The head was shaped like a robotic version of Mojo's own, capped with a duranium turban.


Three things. One: The name alone of that machine has blinded me, and I’m now having a trained monkey communicate this fic to me through a series of screeches and cackles. Two: Duranium is a type of metal used on SPACE STATIONS. As in, really motherfucking expensive/highly guarded (I assume), so how in the flying monkey fuck was Jojo able to acquire this? Three: ….
DURAINUM
TURBAN

“Yes, yes! The power levels are at optimum efficiency; energy output is nearly five times that of those accursed girls' own robot! At long last! I, Mojo Jojo, have finished my ultimate, greatest invention! The day of Townsville's reckoning has come at last!” The villain burst into maniacal laughter, arms stretched out and eyes clenched shut. Behind him the Robo Jojo loomed ominously.


Based off the description of this robot, I’m just picturing a giant Mojo Jojo with big arms and a DURAINIUM TURBAN, therefore, there is nothing “ominous” about this. Just get on with the robo-tentacle fucking.

XxXxX


Have you been playing along kids?! If so, get to the fucking hospital, Christ, don’t actually DO what I suggest you do. I’m a terrible influence, less so than the author of this moose crap, but still, don’t listen to me.

A year in hiding is nothing to the great and mighty Aku...it was a year well spent...

A thick sludge-like substance slipped through the sewers beneath Townsville. It had grown to twice the size it was upon escaping from the Utonium residence a year before. The sludge came to a halt, trembling as it came across a foreboding presence in the distance—light pouring in from the world above.


I am still horrifically confused as to why the italics and bold text are required for these scenes with Aku. Like, seriously, you don’t use italics to describe what’s happening for every other character’s actions, so what the fuck? Unles… that whole “The City of Townsville!” bullcrap was some form of narratorlike they have in the PPG show… No…. No you wouldn’t….

I've grown powerful lying in wait...collecting power from this miserable planet. Hatred, agony, destruction, pain, lies, sin, and terror have all flowed into me...but something is wrong...


I think it’s… hemorrhoids

The sludge slid closer to the light, bits and pieces dripping off haphazardly into the sewer water. It peered up at the light, choosing instead to slide into the water and fight the current, than to do war with the sun. Its power had grown, but it had not yet grown that strong.

Something is hindering my power...the world is not the dark age it was before. This city...it festers with evil, and yet something is holding it all back...something familiar...


Oh. Perhaps it is the fact that the Powerpuff Girls were created from a byproduct of your Demonic excrement and the powdered remains of Samurai Jack’s MOTHERFUCKING SWORD!? MAYBE THAT’S WHAT FUCKING WRONG. Goddamn, my head, it bleeds over this.

The sludge pulled out of the water and slipped deeper into the black sewer depths. In the distance, it feels a surge of power, and begins quivering anxiously.

Whatever it is, I shall take great pleasure in crushing it in my own two hands...it will take just one folly, just one mistake, one surge of power...and then the great Aku will rise once more!


Ok, “quivering anxiously” when regarding an adult fanfiction involving girls approximately around the age of SIX, should never be said, under pain of me sticking a tuning fork into your eye socket.

The sewers fell empty, save for the occasional flushed goldfish and the wandering packs of vermin. But the silence was broken by a wicked, gnarled laughter. A laugh so evil, even the rats fled to the surface.

XxXxX


Glub a dub dub! Drink more gin! Fuck off, I wasn’t trying to rhyme.

Pokey Oaks Kindergarten! A happy and friendly learning environment where the town's youth began their path to intellectual enlightenment! Spreading their wings and taking flight aboard the reading rainbow! And of all the students in Pokey Oaks Kindergarten, none aspired for higher learning quite like Blossom of the Powerpuff Girls.

Image
Image

….
…….
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Now as you can see students, if we have three sets of two apples, that means we have three times two apples. And can anyone tell me how many apples that is?” One hand in the back shot up like lightning, bright pink eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. The teacher giggled and put her hands on her hips with a wry smile.

“Now class, I know she enjoys answering, but I simply cannot have Blossom answering every question. Would anyone else like to volunteer?” Not a single hand went up to join the excitedly waving hand in the back. Ms. Keane chuckled and nodded. “Alright, Blossom, what is the answer?” Blossom beamed and sat up straight and proper.


Translation: Getting real tired of your shit Blossom

“The answer is six, Ms. Keane!” The teacher smiled proudly and nodded, writing the answer on the board.

“Very good! Now does everyone understand how she came to that conclusion? Well then let's take a look, shall we?” As Ms. Keane began to explain, Buttercup turned to her sister, sticking out her tongue. Blossom glanced at Buttercup, still wearing a smug smile.


This is probably the only time we actually get a correct representation of Blossom’s arrogance when it comes to academia, and it fills me with anger and sorrow

“What?” She whispered knowingly. Buttercup just shook her head and huffed. The green puff crossed her arms.

“You think you're so smart,” Blossom giggled and grinned putting her hand to her chin.


And you have the power to punch Godzilla in the testicles, point being?

“Well...” Bubbles overheard the two and turned to listen in. Before it could get juicy, the buzzing of the Hotline interrupted their escalating argument. Blossom just sent Buttercup a glare before flying over to the cherry red phone, answering it with a big smile.


“Juicy”? Aha, how. About. FUCKING NO.

“Powerpuff Hotline! What's the trouble Mr. Mayor?” Blossom nodded, and narrowed her eyes, “Right! We'll get on it right away! Girls, Mojo is attacking the city in a new robot! Let's roll!” The three blasted off through the roof, while Ms. Keane stared blankly. Slowly, she set down her chalk, daintily took her seat at the desk and placed her hands in her lap, staring at the ceiling. With a weary sigh she got up and walked to the class phone.

“Talk quietly amongst yourselves, class. I have to call the contractor...” The last part of her moan was drowned out by the cheer erupting from the students.


FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE THAT FUNNY. I HAVE DECREED IT. NO.

XxXxX


98 bottles of Gin on the floor, 98 bottles of Gin. You crack a new one, chug it all down, smash it to the floor and cry all day long!

In Townsville, the new mechanical monster, at the command of its maniacal master, was stomping down the streets and knocking over buildings. The typical ploy to lure the girls into battle. But this time, things would be different.


This time… there will be no more of this story.

“This time...those girls don't stand a chance!” Mojo laughed wickedly, watching as the rainbow began to come over the horizon. Mojo turned up the sound system, and heard their accursed cry.


Mojo should’ve taken the opportunity to blast Justin Bieber in an attempt to distract the girls

“Not so fast, Mojo Jojo!” Mojo snickered as the girls came to a halt a few yards from the robot. They wore varying looks of wonder and amazement. Blossom shook her head and swallowed hard, pointing her mitt at Mojo.

“That's enough Mojo!” Mojo's eyes narrowed, and the Robo Jojo's fists clenched tightly. Buttercup was the next to snap out of her awe. She brought up her fists and hit her chest hard.


Oh Buttercup, you really need to get off the furry websites…

“Yeah, no fancy robot is going to stop us!” Bubbles swallowed and looked at her sisters, then back at the Robo Jojo, her hand covering her mouth.

“Uh huh...” was all the blue puff could manage. Mojo laughed and pulled the microphone close, his voice echoing from the loudspeakers.


“Baaaaaaaaaaaby baaaaaaaaaaaby baaaaaaaaaaabbbby oohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah!”

“Oh is that so? Well, why don't we find out! Let us fight, do battle, engage!” Mojo's voice, rising with excitement, suddenly became a fierce whisper, his eyes narrowed dangerously, “Let's do this,” The Robo Jojo sprung into action, swinging one of its massive arms at the girls. All three snapped into action.

“Scatter!” The girls split up, breaking into what appeared to be a completely random series of swoops and twirls. In reality, it was a carefully planned and meticulously practiced maneuver. Buttercup came out of the scatter formation first, throwing a powerful punch right at the Robo Jojo's chest. The force of the punch did nothing to even move the robot, but the recoil of the strike was enough to render Buttercup immobile for several seconds. Just enough time for a duranium tendril to lash out and snare her.


Que the tentacle porn in three… two… one…

“No! Buttercup!” Bubbles swooped down, spraying the robot with her heat rays. The robot lashed out, slapping Bubbles through a building. Blossom gasped and faced the cockpit of the Robo Jojo. Mojo flung Buttercup down into the pavement and turned his full attention to the remaining Powerpuff Girl.

“Now you see, Powerpuff Blossom! This day you shall not win! You shall be defeated! You shall fall! You. Shall. Lose.” Blossom swallowed and narrowed her eyes. She tensed up her muscles, afraid to look away from the Robo Jojo to check on her sisters. Below the two heard rubble shifting. A few seconds later, Buttercup joined Blossom in the sky. The wall of the building to the other side exploded and Bubbles joined the other two.


Ok, the fact that Bubbles ISN’T upset she demolished the building proves this is a stupid fic. C’mon, it’s essential to her fucking charac-…. THE FUCK AM I DOING!?

“Okay this robot is really powerful,” Blossom muttered, talking more to herself than the others.


No
Fucking
SHIT

“Really powerful!” Bubbles repeated, nodding her head. Buttercup scowled and flexed her arms.

“It ain't so bad, we can take it,” Blossom nodded, looking around. The streets were thankfully cleared. The three heard mechanical whirring and quickly launched a counteroffensive. The robot fired a slew of missiles from its arms, while swooping a blast of lasers from its eyes through the air.


Are the eyes in the air, or are the lasers just appearing from midair? DETAILS PLEASE MISTER ASSNUGGETT

Blossom fired her ice breath at the robot, but a heat wave rose up from it and sent all three flying back.


Not how physics works, moron

“Woah! That was mean!” Blossom cried, picking herself up off the ground. Bubbles took a deep breath and let out a sonic scream, which was quickly negated when the four tendrils from the robot's back began to spin around like propellers, emitting a kind of forcefield. Bubbles gasped and Blossom groaned in frustration. Buttercup snorted and flew high into the air.


Buttercup, just headbutt the thing and end this farce. You know you my favorite PPG

“I'll take this sucker down! All the way down!” Buttercup dove down and slammed her fist into the ground, causing a split to travel along the pavement. The robot stepped back, avoiding the crumbling ground. In response, the robot fired dual lasers from its arms at the girls.

“Scatter!” The girls dodged, flying back in quickly to try to surmount the robot's insurmountable defenses.

XxXxX


I’ve lost track how much Gin I’ve drank. I think my body has assumed it’s the replacement for water, BECAUSE IT’S NOT FUCKING HELPING.

That sound...oh what a sweet sound it is! The sound of violence, bloodshed and war!

The sludge crawled out of the darkness. A split had appeared through the ceiling of the sewer it had chosen to inhabit. The sludge stalked toward the sunlight, sizzling and hissing violently. Above, however, came sounds that gave the sludge new strength. A great battle was taking place. The sludge shuddered, yearning to be part of the conflict. Yearning to drink in the hatred radiating from them.


Sugar. Spice. And everything nice. = HATRED. Deimos will not be pleased at hearing this

Such power...it is truly a magnificent sight...if only there was some way to take advantage...yes...YES!

The dark sludge crept into the sunlight. Although the light burned, the thirst was too great. The rush, the desire, the necessity to become complete. To...be reborn. The sludge peered up through the cracks as a feminine scream echoed overhead. The sludge heard two voices yell a name, and watched as blood rained down from the sky. The blood dribbled down through the crack onto the substance.


Jesus, if blood is RAINING, down on the sky, that can only mean someone lost a fucking arm.

This...this power is mine! It is MINE! YES! This! Is! It! I need more! More! MORE!

The sludge began to glow even darker, and started to crawl up the wall. There was a massive explosion and a great mass fell over the crack.

Perfect...now come to me...restore me...

The sludge slipped inside the machine, crawling deeper and deeper into its core. Toward the very source of its awesome power. The substance wrapped itself around every bit of the robot's circuitry. Poured into every energy cell and computer processor. Silent and undetected, the sludge became one with the Robo Jojo.


Teenage Mutant Ninja Jojo

Revive me! Revive the great and powerful, AKU!

XxXxX


I think my liver has eroded away… Huh

“Blossom! Blossom are you okay?” Bubbles hovered close to her sister, hands pressed tightly to her mouth. Her face was sheet white, her eyes big and terrified. Blood streamed down Blossom's arm, where a duranium blade had nearly cut it off.


….. I hate when I predict things.

“I'm...I'm fine...we need to stop this thing...” Blossom winced, knowing that it wasn't true. She was hurting badly, and the action was keeping her body from healing. If Buttercup hadn't pulled her out of the way...Blossom shook her head and fixed the Robo Jojo, badly dented and beaten, with a determined glare.


Mmkay, Blossom, sweetie, you’re the smart one hear, you should know, THAT YOU NEED TO FIX THE GAPING WOUND RAINING BLOOD DOWN ON THE STREET. Mmkay? Thanks pumpkin.

“What do we do, Leader Girl?” Buttercup floated up dizzily. Her face was badly bruised, and her fists were bright red from trying to pierce the robot's armor. Blossom swallowed and turned to Bubbles. One of her pigtails had been sliced off, her dress was charred black and cut. She had a few scrapes and bruises, but was still in fighting form.

“I...we need something big...let's try our heat rays!” The three girls powered up their laser eyes and fired them at the robot. Mojo cackled and watched as the heat rays caused the robot's armor to begin glowing and trembling.’


Pretty sure heat doesn’t make things tremble… but aight, I’ll let it slide, provided there isn’t a retarded ass reason for-

“W...What's happening?!” Mojo leered at the girls, pulling his microphone over.

“This Robo Jojo is immune to your pathetic energy attacks! It takes your power and separates it! Weakening it and using the negative energy to increase its power!” Bubbles licked her lips and looked at her sisters, then looked at Mojo.


……………………………………No.
Powerpuff Girls
Sugar
Spice
And everything
NICE
DOES NOT MEAN
NEGATIVE
ENERGY

“What about the good energy?” Blossom's mouth fell open. She already knew the answer before the robot's chest opened, revealing a giant cannon.


Oh Christ, hand me more Gin. Or Kraken. Or Cowbell. Hand me something that can end this pain.

“Girls! Duck!” The cannon glowed for a few seconds before firing a massive wave of light at the three. They managed to avoid the attack, but just barely. The girls turned and faced the robot. The chest closed quickly, bringing them back to square one.


For some reason, I personally wanted the cannon to fire a giant duck at the girls. Might’ve redeemed this whole charade.

“Wow...that's not fair!” Buttercup growled, spitting at the ground. Blossom nodded, looking over at Bubbles, then back at Buttercup. She narrowed her eyes and steeled her nerves.

XxXxX

Yes! That is wonderful! Do it again! More! I need more!


For the slightly wrotic subtext, I shall chug a fifth of scotch.

The sludge tightened its hold on the Robo Jojo's inner workings. A great force overtook the robot as dark tendrils clenched its energy cells tighter and tighter, drinking in the negative energy from the Powerpuff Girls' attack. A pair of glowing red spots appeared near the center of the sludge.

Give me all of that wonderful power! Return me to my former glory so that I may once again crush the world beneath my unimaginable EVIL!

The red dots suddenly burst into flames. A mouth began to appear, and twisted fangs began to grow. The newly formed lips curled into a demonic grin.


I’m picturing a weird evil Jigglypuff thing glomping the core of the Robo Jojo…. Shoot me for not calling it the robot. Please shoot me.

XxXxX


PLEASE STOP WITH THE X’s!! IT’S LIKE TARA’S ELLIPSES ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

“Girls, we have to use the Mega Blast! We'll see just how much power this thing can take!” Blossom floated into the air, her sisters following closely behind. Blossom nodded, holding out her hands, “We have to give it all of our power!” Bubbles and Buttercup nodded, assuming matching positions. Mojo swallowed nervously, turning up the defense grid to its maximum power. He clutched his controls tightly...unaware that they'd become completely useless.

“Draw, Powerpuff Girls!” The girls fired out beams of energy. Blossom's pink, Bubbles' blue, and Buttercup's green. The three attacks converged into a glistening point of searing white light. The sphere of white light glowed for a scant few seconds, before erupting in an enormous display of might.


And from the girls, a gigantic kitty erupted from them, pawing the robot to its demise.

The ground split, windows shattered, entire buildings began to crumble in the face of the Powerpuff Girls' strength. The clouds began to spiral overhead, thunder exploded in the air, and lightning arced through the sky. The Mega Blast collided with the Robo Jojo. The robot's defenses proceeded to pull in the energy, pulling apart the positive and negative energies. The negative energy flooded into the robot's energy cells.

The city rumbled as a violent tremor shook the Robo Jojo. The girls stopped, staring in horror. Inside, Mojo was losing his cool, staring at the readouts around him.

“No! This is impossible! It's...it's not responding! The robot is ignoring my commands, the controls are refusing my input! This...this is bad! Horrible! Awful! I've...I've...I've got to get out of here!” Mojo slid back into an escape hoverpod, blasting out through the roof of the robot. The girls saw him, but were too much in awe of the trembling robot. Sparks of electricity crackled around it. Above, the clouds began to pour down, a violent thunderstorm, on the city.


Well… shit just went down

“What's...happening?” Blossom whispered. The robot sank to its knees and fell on its face. The city stood still, no sound but the wind, the rain and the thunder. Suddenly the back of the robot exploded. Once more the city stood still. The girls looked at each other. Mojo peered out from behind a building in horror. Suddenly, a great pillar of darkness, like a gnarled and wicked tree, began rising up from the back of the robot, into the sky, above the clouds. All of Townsville watched, awestruck.

“Once again...I am free to smite the world as I did in days long past!”


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy Aku is back! That means that my sanity will start to slip even further and further down the rabbit hole that this fic is!

Ok, so that was the first two chapters, and since I’m nearing the word limit for posts on the forum, I’ll have to keep splitting up the bits of chapters. Sorry about not being able to read it all through in one go, but hey, that means you can anticipate more awful! Lucky you!

Next time! Chapter 3! The RAIN of Evil.

God help me all….
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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