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Uprisingstuck

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MesserTod

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Post Sat Mar 09, 2013 7:08 pm

Re: Uprisingstuck

Back in the iron grasp of reality, two brothers argue over pointless shit

Spoiler:
Come on, man, you HAVE to have a better idea than that.
Nope.
But… But we don’t even OWN a sickle.
We’ll make one.
From what??
Wooden planks and kitchen knives?

You’re just jealous because my weapons are going to be more kickass than yours.
No, listen, that’s not why I’m jealous
I mean, that’s not why I’m…
Fuck

I KNEW IT
You WISH you had thought of this first!

At least I HAVE a weapon!
What, that shitty thing?
It’s going to break before we enter, I’ll bet.

Still better than your nothing.
Nope, because before too long, I’ll have a crabsickle like Karkat.
“Crabsicle”?
That sounds disgusting.

No, a crabsickle. Like, a sickle made of crabs.
Oh, whatever
Listen, I’m going to go find
Cannor, you stay here and keep pretending to be a troll.
:P
I can’t believe you.
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MesserTod

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Post Fri Mar 29, 2013 1:46 pm

Re: Uprisingstuck

messerTod (MT) began pestering zaphodBeeblebrox (ZB)

Spoiler:
MT: Seriously, dude, stop that.
MT: It’s creeping me out.

ZB: Bwahahaha
MT: Oh come on.
ZB Hahahahhahhaaaaa
MT: No
MT: Stop that.
MT You have shit to do

ZA: Hahahahaaaaaasanfjnrekfbshfdfs
MT: Goddammit Zaphod
ZA: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
MT: Why what?
ZB: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
MT: I shook a Magic 8 Ball
MT: It said “Ask again later”

ZB: Wait, really?
MT: No, you little shit.
MT: Now get your ass up and start alchemizing

ZB: But why?
MT: Because it’s hard enough to type on this thing while I’m moving
MT: I’m not about to start building up that roof while running away from
Deimos
ZB: So this is it, then?
ZB: The apocalypse really is upon us?
ZB: Is this the last shred of time we have in the real world?

MT: Who’s “we,” Kemosabe?
MT: You’re in the Land of Eye-Rape and Green
MT: I’M going to enjoy the last few minutes of my life on Earth before I’m whisked off to the Land of Something and Nothingness by SHG
MT: YOU should get to alchemizing
MT: The imps are probably not too far behind, you know.

ZB: But
ZB: But

MT: No, there shall be no butts
MT: And if you moon my screen I swear I’ll shove shingles so far up your ass you’ll be one with the roof itself

ZB: Will I get awesome roof powers, too?
MT: Sure, why not
ZB: I’ll be Roofman
ZB: With all the powers of a roof and all the subtlety of a ceiling
ZB: The ultimate superhero.

MT: Yeah, sure.
MT: Just get to alchemizing, I seriously need to start running.

ZB: Okay, chief.
ZB: ROOFMAN, AWAY!


messerTod (MT) ceased pestering zaphodBeeblebrox (ZB)
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Ranked #1 in forum posts, the only Veteran of the Great War. I am Interplosion's Tharol, I am your god

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MesserTod

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Post Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:28 pm

Re: Uprisingstuck

The imps then descend upon Zaphod's green valley, and Zaphod looks at them with contempt. How dare they interrupt the alchemizing he hasn't even started yet? His fist tightens over his hammer as he prepares to slaughter the imps and collect his grist, so that he may bring forth the most glorious tools this new land can create. Surely this shall be a fight of the ages, surely this massacre will be a sight to behold!
LPW Thread Wins: 23

Ranked #1 in forum posts, the only Veteran of the Great War. I am Interplosion's Tharol, I am your god

11037 never forget.
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MesserTod

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Space Police

Posts: 1284

Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2011 10:16 am

Location: Not Here

Post Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:40 pm

Re: Uprisingstuck

A young man sits in a TV room on the 2nd floor, discussing a plan with his comrade.

Spoiler:
So, do you understand what we're trying to do now?
Yes, yes, of course. We've read the fucking comic, you know.
Yeah, I know, but that doesn't mean-
Besides, it's the Homestuck game, how hard can it be?
Well, actually-
And I've been preparing for something like this for a while now.
Wait
You have?

Of course!
I've been storing weapons for this kind of thing.
Rest assured,
Crypto and I will be ready to play when the time comes.
Yeah, I'm sure
But we need to make sure everything goes off without a hitch
So are you sure you and
Crypto can-
Yes, yes, of course we can, Cannor
Heh
Can
Cannor
Hehe
We'll do whatever we can to help our team win the game!

Yes, sure
Okay
I guess that's all I needed to know.
Just... make sure you're ready when we call you to enter, okay?

Okay!
Great
I'm just gonna
Go back, I guess.

Awesome!
See ya,
Cannor!
LPW Thread Wins: 23

Ranked #1 in forum posts, the only Veteran of the Great War. I am Interplosion's Tharol, I am your god

11037 never forget.
<<

MesserTod

User avatar

Space Police

Posts: 1284

Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2011 10:16 am

Location: Not Here

Post Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:47 pm

Re: Uprisingstuck

Having slaughtered every imp around him in a vicious hammer-infused Strifefest, the young man approaches the alchemizer with a batch of fresh cards, cracking his knuckles. First he reaches into his Sylladex and takes note of the items he has within. His phone, a 3DS, a flash drive, a bag of art supplies, a box of pizza, a Kermit the Frog doll, a ballpeen hammer, a foam replica of the Master Sword, a “Pimpin’ Dolla Necklace, Yo,” and a Batman Halloween costume grace his sight. Surely only madness can come of this.

Spoiler:
Alchemilog

Batman && Pimpin’ Dolla Necklace, Yo = Batman Be Pimpin’ (This suit sparkles with the promise of a thousand Benjamins and a hundred hungry skanks ready to serve. Surely you are the hero this planet needs, as well as the pimp all these bitches deserve.)

3DS || Bag of Art Supplies = Monchrome 3DS (You have managed to sap all the color out of this fine piece of machinery. You horrible monster. On the plus side, it plays old school Pokemon like nobody’s business now)

3DS && Bag of Art Supplies = Hyper-Realistic Gameboy (You have made the already impressive technology of the 3DS even better. Who knows what this machine can do now?)

Flash Drive && Pizza Box = Sausage Surprise (The box now has a hole the perfect size for your penis embedded in its side, and when you open it, a sweet, dulcet saxophone begins to play. You begin to wonder what you had on that flash drive…)

Phone && Batman Be Pimpin’ = Batman Be Phonin’ Yo Ass Up (You’ve embedded the smartphone’s capabilities into the shining monstrosity you’ve decided to make. Now not only is it gaudy and menacing on the outside, it’s also gaudy and useful on the inside.)

Batman Be Phonin’ Yo Ass Up && Flash Drive = Batman’s Sparkledick (The batsuit is now well endowed. Your bitches are pleased.)

Foam Sword && Art Supplies = The Pen Is Mightier (A pen that turns into a sword? You swear you’ve heard of that from some Greek-themed teen book, or something.)

The Pen Is Mightier && Flash Drive = The Penis Mightier (Yes, this is much more useful.)

The Penis Mightier && Hammer = The Penis Mightiest (Just for clarification, you’ve made a pen that now turns into a dildo hammer when you click it, which means you can wield it. Imps everywhere beware, Batman’s coming for you, and in more than one way.)

Kermit Doll && Pimpin’ Dolla Necklace, Yo = Blingin’ Kermit Swag (The perfect accessory. It goes so well with Batman’s penis.)

Hyper-Realistic Gameboy && Hammer = Super Hammer (You’ve poofed Mario’s actual fucking hammer into existence. Holy Shit.)

Super Hammer && Batman’s Sparkledick = Batmario’s Bitchsmaker (You’re not even sure what you’re doing anymore.)

Hyper-Realistic Gameboy && Foam Master Sword = Master Sword (Holy shit, the Master Sword. You’re so awed by the beauty of holding Link’s ultimate weapon that you forget to pimpify it.)


Zaphod dons his ridiculous armor and beams forth his pride. This is surely a golden day for mankind. If anything, it is certainly a golden day for Zaphod’s batpenis.
LPW Thread Wins: 23

Ranked #1 in forum posts, the only Veteran of the Great War. I am Interplosion's Tharol, I am your god

11037 never forget.
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ThePeople'sChamp

I'm Still Here

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Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2011 6:48 am

Location: Rangerstown, USA

Post Thu Mar 27, 2014 2:48 pm

Re: Uprisingstuck

is this dead?
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MesserTod

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Space Police

Posts: 1284

Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2011 10:16 am

Location: Not Here

Post Thu Mar 27, 2014 5:05 pm

Re: Uprisingstuck

Yes, unfortunately.

I can't find the inspiration to continue this, so sorry, it's dead :(
LPW Thread Wins: 23

Ranked #1 in forum posts, the only Veteran of the Great War. I am Interplosion's Tharol, I am your god

11037 never forget.
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