FAQ  •  Login

Interplosion: The Third Uprising



User avatar

God of Fear

Posts: 718

Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:45 pm

Location: Olympus

Post Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:04 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Third Uprising

I know you have some big glorious plan, but it's been over a month man!
Captain of the Interplosion Night Watch/Hate Guard. First to be banned.

Glorious victories in LPW thread: 15 and one as Pravado



User avatar


Posts: 180

Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:26 am

Post Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:15 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Third Uprising

"Here," Jack said as he withdrew a folder from the filing cabinet next to his desk. "These are the case files that our mysterious benefactor sent me. It's just floor plans for the mansion as well as an admissions profile for Zaphod."

Deimos sat down in the chair opposite Jack, opening the file and thumbing through the floor plans. "This is it? Nothing else was sent to you?" Jack grimaced for a moment, thinking.

"Oh - one thing." He turned around and reached upward, pulling a small key off the top of the cabinet. "This key. I talked to some local hardware stores, and they say that the design of the key isn't something they can cut. They aren't sure where it comes from or what it unlocks. But it was in the file, so it must be important."

Zaphod took the key from Jack and ran his fingers over it. "I don't remember anything about a key... but there are still missing things, so maybe they'll fill in and this key will be important somehow." He handed it back to Jack, who put it in his pocket. He turned, slowly dragged his hand across his face as he let out a deep sigh, and then collapsed into a chair next to Dawn, who leaned her head on his shoulder.

Deimos points to a spot on the floorplan. "What is this?" Jack glances down.

"That's a basement of some sort. Doesn't match any known architects in this area; no idea what it's use is, but given its odd shape, I imagine it was designed with a specific purpose."

"I think this is important," he said, as he flipped through a few more of the floorplans, "because I have no memory of there being a basement in the mansion."

bob sat up and walked over to the floorplans. "That's strange, because I definitely have memory of there being a basement. Right under the common room?" he asked, flipping back to the first floor's page. "Yep, right there. Never went in there myself, but I saw Rando go in there from time to time."

Deimos gave bob a puzzled look. "I was there when the mansion was built. I helped move in all that hideous furniture, and the floor of the common room was completely smooth. There was no basement, I'm pretty sure of that."

Jack looked at the two of them, and could tell they were both pretty certain in their claims. "Is it possible it was added later?"

Deimos shook his head. "I wouldn't think so. I don't remember doing any modifications."

"Well, we should go back to the mansion and look for the basement."

Everybody turned to face roast, who had unexpectedly spoken up. "Sitting here arguing about whether or not there was a mysterious basement won't get us anywhere. Even if Azazel burned the whole place down, we'll be able to see if there ever was a basement, and it may even be intact. I'd bet that's where we'll find our next course of action."

Zaphod stared at roast, mouth agape, which amused Jack. He continued to look around the room, and saw that, in fact, everybody's mouths had fallen open in amazement. "Good thinking, roast."

"Or really bad thinking. Tod got killed last time we went to that mansion. I'm not about to go do it again so haplessly, when we have only a shred of a clue." bob turned back to the plans. "I'm pretty sure this basement is innocuous."

"Oh, we won't rush back to the mansion. Oh no. This time, we're coming prepared."

---Several Weeks Later---

"Okay, let's go over the plans again." Jack sat at his desk with a detailed itinerary of events for the night's operation.

Deimos cleared his throat. "You, Zaphod, and bob will walk up to the mansion while we all remain inside the car. I'll climb up into the driver's seat. You'll walk inside and remain immediately in the doorframe, hoping to lure Azazel into the house."

"Meanwhile," Mari piped up, "SHG, Cannor, and I will make our way around the back of the mansion and break through the window in the eastern hallway. We'll take the gasoline canisters that are on the ground floor out into the woods."

"Good. Then?"

"Then," Zaphod said, "we will hopefully capture Azazel and put him in the back of the van and try to get some information out them. Deimos and bob will proceed into the common room, lift up the rug and settle their bet. Depending, Deimos will either kiss bob's ass, or bob will submit his pinky for severing." Deimos grinned maniacally as he sharpened one of his knifes.

"If there's a basement, we go inside. If there isn't, we hope to god that it triggers some memories and we can figure out where to go from here." Jack nods along with everybody else, confident in their plan. It was based on a month of reconnaissance work, after all. "Everybody good?" No objections were raised.

---A few minutes later---

They were on their way to the mansion. Random conversations were going on in the van behind him, but Jack tuned most of them out. He heard random phrases from time to time - something called "sburb" kept reappearing for whatever reason - but oddly Zaphod and Dawn were completely silent. He didn't want to look back there, but he mentally made a note to wipe down the leather seats with some antibacterial wipes the next day.

"So, Jack. Freelance detective work." Deimos, in the passenger's seat, turned to look at him. "How did you get into that field? Too much Sherlock?"

"What's Sherlock?"

"That British Sherlock Holmes show that people never shut up about."

"I didn't know BBC was doing a Sherlock Holmes show."

"Really? It's really obnoxiously popular, all over the internet and everything."

"Haven't heard a word about it."

"Weird. But anyway, how DID you get into this line of work?"

Jack paused for a minute before answering. "Well, when I was about 16, my parents died in a car crash. I have no memory of them or the crash - I got fucked up pretty bad when it happened. After I got better, I learned as much about the crash as I could, and I found a few interesting things. The car wasn't registered to either of my parents, and no other cars were harmed in the crash - it appeared that we had randomly wrecked without hitting anything. I never could solve that case, but there was this surge of adrenaline every time I thought I had made a breakthrough. I loved that, so I moved into criminology classes in college and eventually set up a private detective practice."

Deimos grimaced. "You don't seem very sad about that."

"Like I said, I don't remember them."

"Okay, so second question: why are you helping us? What is it about this random group of obsessive jackasses that intrigues you? Other than the money."

Jack chuckled. "I'm not really sure, actually. I feel some sort of strange compulsion to help you guys. Like I'm meant to do it. I don't know why, but I feel like I have to help you. That it's some sort of greater purpose."

Deimos chuckled. "Well, sounds like bullshit to me. But thanks anyway." They rode the rest of the way in silence until arrived at the mansion and began to execute their plan.

Until, that is, something went wrong right away. As soon as Jack, Zaphod, and bob stepped out of the van, Azazel appeared behind them. "Well hello there. Glad to see you back." Gunshots pierced the night air as bullets ruptured the side of the van, screams echoing from within. "I wonder which ones were hit by those." Azazel chuckled a low and terrifying chuckle before turning the gun on bob. "I'll give you... sixty seconds. Sixty seconds to run before I start firing on you."

They didn't need to be told twice; they started running for the mansion, which was still standing - clearly Azazel had left it up briefly to bait them into appearing. Jack turned back as he ran to see who had been hit - he saw Mari and Deimos pulling the corpses of N7 and The Slender Man out of the van, bullets embedded in their brains.

He was brought back into the moment by the sound of a gunshot shattering the van's windows, hitting Cannor in the side of the head. He heard Azazel yell back, "I said I'd give you sixty seconds before I fired on YOU - your friends, on the other hand..." Seething rage filled Jack as they entered the mansion and stopped a moment to catch their breaths.

"We're going back. We have to help them somehow," Jack said.

"Are you fucking crazy? We won't survive thirty seconds once he starts firing at us. He's fired three shots and killed three people. We're staying right here. They can take care of themselves."

"You're both wrong," bob yelled, "because three people fucking died for us to find out what the hell is happening. We're going to see if there's a basement here or not, because otherwise they will have died in vain."

Jack and Zaphod stared at bob, and nodded. "You REALLY want Deimos to kiss your ass, don't you?"

Back outside, Deimos and Mari had gotten everybody to safety behind the treeline. They watched as Azazel danced maniacally in the field in front of the mansion's front door, firing his pistol happily into the van, despite knowing full well it was empty. "What the fuck do we do now?" Deimos asked.

"I think we need to get everybody into the mansion," Mari said. "He'll have a harder time finding us in there and we can get the gasoline out of there to prevent the place from burning down again."

"Wonderful plan, but there's a critical component you've overlooked," Deimos said, but his words were cut short by the sound of Azazel's gun firing in the distance. "How do we get past THAT?"

Mari grinned. "I know the way in." The signaled everybody to head west through the trees.

Inside, Jack, bob, and Zaphod had reached the common room. They moved all the furniture to the walls and threw the rug on the floor over to the side - revealing a smooth floor surface.

Bob stared at the floor, and then grabbed his pinky finger, kissing it gently. "I don't get it, I KNOW there was a basement here." Jack looked over to Zaphod, and saw that familiar look of recognition.

"Did this trigger memories?"

"There were two," he said, his eyes wide. "There were TWO mansions. I remember now! The old one was too small, so they built a second mansion - the basement was in the SECOND one. Which means this -"

"-is IP 1.0. Very good deduction, Zaphod." The three turned to look up and saw Azazel standing in the door way, clapping slowly. "It's a pity it won't do you much good."

"Azazel!" Jack shouted as he quickly jumped to his feet.

"Hah! I'm not Azazel, fool." He stretched briefly, standing at his full height for once. "I'm Azax. A-Z-A-X. Got it memorized? Wait, I don't actually care. None of you will live long enough for it to matter." He suddenly ran forward and knocked Jack and Zaphod back with a quick blow to the head. He then grabbed bob with his right hand and brandished a pistol with the left. He fired a shot and tightened his hold on bob's neck, pushing a device on his left shoulder. He and bob vanished in a flash of violet light. Jack and Zaphod quickly observed that Azax had not shot either of them, but had in fact shot a lone canister of gasoline that was sitting behind them. They quickly scrambled out of the room, and toward the front door.

But that path was blocked - the floor above had collapsed in on it. They made for the windows in the back hallways and ran for it, jumping straight through the glass and out into the night. There, they saw Mari, Deimos, and the rest of the IP gang making their way across the field toward the mansion. "What the fuck -" Jack started, but Zaphod cut him off.

"They cut through the sex grotto. Genius. I thought it had caved in."

"Well it doesn't matter, we have to get them away -" Again, Jack's words were cut off by the sound of Azax and Azazel both appearing and taking Dawn and SHG away with more flashes of purple light. "Shit," he muttered. He took in a deep breath and yelled as loud as he could, "OTHER WAY! GO THE OTHER WAY!"

They all stopped and turned around, just in time for Azax and Azazel to show back up and pick off Mari and roast. The three remaining people ran for the van at the front of the house, just barely outrunning Azax and Azazel.

Back in the van, Jack started to drive away before Deimos stopped him. "No, no, FUCK this. I am so SICK of this bullshit. We're going to get out of the van, grab the heavy weaponry I stored in the back, and blow these motherfuckers to hell."

"Heavy weaponry? Why the fuck didn't you tell me you put that in my van?"

"Because I knew your little heist plan bullshit would fall through, and I made a backup plan. Do you have any objections?"

Jack did not. They got out of the van and Deimos handed them each a powerful military-grade rifle. They lined up in front of the van as Azazel and Axel were slowly approaching. "Aim for the head, lads."

Gunfire echoed throughout the night as the three fired on them. Within seconds, Azazel and Axel were littered with bullet holes - Jack and Zaphod being poor shots - and fell to the ground, lifeless. They walked up to the bodies and noticed a curious fact.

"They were fucking robots?"

Indeed, rather than blood and gore, there were loose metallic parts and a strange silvery substance littering the ground around what little remained of the bodies. Fortunately, the shoulder device on Azazel was still intact. "That's the thing they've been using to teleport people away; I think if we all touch it at the same time we should be able to go wherever they were taking us as well." Jack picked it up and extended it to Deimos and Zaphod. They each placed a hand on it, and Jack hit the button.

Violet light engulfed them, and they were pulled through what felt like an incredibly small hole, only to reemerge on the other side in what appeared to be the Interplosion Mansion. They didn't have long to admire the new sight before a voice cut through the air.


Dawn's voice was cut short by a gunshot, the bullet from which pierced Zaphod's skull. His body hit the ground within seconds, before Jack and Deimos could look up and register who the shooter was.

"You motherfuckers don't even know what you just did, do you?" the shooter asked. He was standing in front of the mantle in the common room, and all the people who had been taken were bound on the floor in front of him. "You killed Axel and Azazel, and now the universe is going to fuck all of us up. You goddamned fools."

Dawn screamed, finally processing the extent of what had just happened, and ran toward Zaphod's corpse, shattering her bindings with an uncharacteristic strength granted by the adrenaline rush. She wept loudly, tears falling onto Zaphod's corpse, as Deimos held a gun to the shooter. "I knew you'd be behind this as well, Xicon. Always trying to usurp Rando. Well that ends here. We're going to take it back, and this time, we're going to kill you."

Xicon grinned. "Try me." Deimos pulled the trigger - and nothing happened. The gun didn't fire. "That gun didn't survive the trip through the vortex. It's worse than useless now, because it gives you a false sense of confidence. Now, get over there with the rest of them or you can join Zaphod."

Deimos and Jack stood there for a moment, before grudgingly walking over and sitting on the ground. Dawn, however, remained at Zaphod's corpse. "He can't be dead... he can't be dead..."

"Stop crying, stupid girl, you can see the bullet in his head." Dawn just wailed louder - before being silenced by another gunshot. Her body fell over top of Zaphod's, their hands lying just an inch apart - never to touch again.

Xicon kicked the corpses to the side and turned to the captive Interplosion members. "Your silly little counterrevolution ends here. But first I need to find out how the fuck you managed to beat my safeguards. You," he said, gesturing toward Jack. "Move to the front. You've got some explaining to do."


User avatar


Posts: 180

Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:26 am

Post Tue May 28, 2013 6:03 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Third Uprising

Due to a hard drive crash some months ago, the rest of the Third Uprising has vanished. This is truly disappointing, as I was really thrilled with the ending. Nevertheless, for the purposes of Uprising canon, I will outline the end of it here - and who knows? Maybe someday I'll return and rewrite the ending with all the excitement and silliness intact.

So without further ado, the abridged conclusion to the Third Uprising.

Xicon interrogated Jack, asking how he managed to find all the members of Interplosion in the hospitals. Jack refused to answer at first, but after Xicon threatened the lives of the rest of the members, he told him about the folder and the mysterious client who had contacted him with the case. Xicon reached up to his ear, where there was a small headset, and spoke into it, suggesting to whoever was on the other end that it must have been "him". He also requested another shoulder device. A portal similar to the ones Azax and Azazel had been creating appeared next to him, and a shoulder device fell out of it as it quickly dissipated. He tossed the shoulder device to Jack, and told him to put it on. He then pointed his gun at Deimos and bob, directing them over to Jack. He told them that in their most recent insurrection, they had sent Rando back in time to an undisclosed point. The absence of Rando in the present had caused problems, however, and soon most of the mansion was afflicted with bizarre headaches and memory loss. Once several of them had managed to connect the dots, Azog and Xicon began sending them back in time. What they didn't know was that, in sending the people back in time, they were losing their memory. Azog, on a return trip, had no memory of himself or anything else that had happened. It took a while, but Xicon had managed to help him recover his memories. Their solution was to send robots back in time and ensure that things happened the same way - the mansion 1.0 had to be burned down, and the mansion 2.0 had to be built. Their mucking around in time had apparently threatened those two events, so Azax and Azazel were there to ensure they happened - over and over again, regardless of the universe's attempts to course correct.

Since the members had killed Azax and Azazel, Xicon told them that Deimos, bob and Jack would be going back in time and taking their place. Of course, they would lose their memory on the return trip, so they would be accompanied by the corpses of Zaphod and Dawn, which Xicon believed would trigger their memories. Deimos asked how they intended to enforce their demands, since they couldn't travel to the past without losing their memories. Xicon pointed out that he was keeping Mari and roast hostage, and that if they didn't comply... He shot Mari to demonstrate. With that, he sent the three live bodies and the two deceased ones back to the past. As he suspected, the corpses did in fact trigger the memories of the three in the past - but it also triggered new memories in Jack, who appeared to be having a seizure. He told them all that he was okay, but he was rapidly looking around and running in circles. Eventually, he took off in one direction, eventually finding a road. He closed his eyes, and after a moment of waiting, jumped out in front of an oncoming car.

The car hit him, and the two drivers were immediately killed. The ambulance arrived, and Deimos and bob told them they were walking along the side of the road and had arrived on the scene after the crash. Jack was loaded into the ambulance, and they followed him to the hospital. There, Jack told them that he remembered everything: he was Randoman. When he had been sent back in time, he had appeared right in front of the car carrying Jack Allen and his parents. All three of them had died in the car crash, but Jack Allen's body was never found. Somehow, Rando's DNA matched that of Jack Allen's. Rando had no explanation for this, but assumed it was part of the universe course correcting for suddenly having an additional Randoman in the timeline. His memory was lost in the time travel, so he assumed that he was Jack Allen, and lived his life as if he were.

Along with his recovered memories was the knowledge that the time travel device that Xicon and Azog were using was hidden in the basement of the second IP mansion. He didn't remember what the "In case of failure" key was for, but he wagered that it had something to do with the time travel device. They now knew that they had to get back to the mansion and get to that basement.

Unfortunately they had no way of doing so. Rando suggested that they go to the site of IP 2.0, and hope that they found something there that would point them in the right direction. They found a construction crew that was already beginning construction on the mansion, but not much else. As they were leaving, however, one of the portals opened near them, and a hand reached out and grabbed them, pulling them through. On the other side, they met Nick, Karia, Darian, and Rinsan, all of whom had fled the mansion at the time of Azog and Xicon's uprising attempt. They had formed a group called the Midnight Gang, and had been attempting to break back into the mansion ever since the uprising. They managed to capture a shoulder device in their last raid, and used it to pull through Rando, Deimos, and bob.

Rando shared with them the knowledge of the basement, and they agreed to make a final raid on the mansion to enable Rando to get in. They made their way to the mansion, but triggered a perimeter alarm - a new installment after the Midnight Gang's last raid - and had to quickly rush to the interior of the mansion. Unfortunately, Rinsan and Darian were picked off by Xicon, who was perched on a second floor balcony. Rando wanted to go back and get them, but Deimos pulled him through a window into the mansion, reminding him that they could undo all of it. A door in the room suddenly flew against the wall, and Azog walked through, holding a strange looking device. He taunted them, and explained that it was based on the technology of the basement, and allowed him to accelerate the aging of anyone that it hit at a rapid pace. To demonstrate, he attempted to shoot Deimos, but he managed to dodge. Unfortunately, Deimos dodged into Xicon's sight line (he had come downstairs after everybody had made it inside), and was dropped with a bullet to the head. At that moment, Nick and Karia came darting in, and tackled Xicon and wrested the gun from his grasp. Rando knew he had precious few seconds, so he quickly ducked under Azog and made for the basement. He narrowly dodged a blast from Azog's laser screwdriver, but turned around and saw Karia drop Azog to the floor with one of the decorative maces that had previously adorned the walls. Rando threw the rug to the side, and saw the trapdoor. He opened it, nodded to Nick and Karia, and went inside.

Inside was a small square room with a door at the end of it. Opening that door brought him into an oddly shaped chamber that was roughly hexagonal, with a pedestal in the center. There were two nodes on the side that, he remember, when held by someone, would send them back through time to a fixed point. Between the two nodes was a keyhole. He pulled out the "in case of failure" key, and inserted it into the keyhole. Thinking back on his time as Jack Allen, Rando realized that he had liked being Jack, and would miss him. "I'll miss you Jack," he said, as he turned the key. The room was bathed in white light, and time reset itself.

With the timeline restored, Rando left the basement and went upstairs, finding the entire Interplosion Mansion membership restored and waiting in the chat room. They were having a typically silly debate, and he walked right by them into the next room, his bedroom. He reached into his desk, pulled out the pistol he kept there, then walked back into the chat room, and shot Azog and Xicon in the back of their heads. Everybody else was shocked, but Rando calmly explained, and their objections were assuaged at the time, though everybody was still a bit uneasy at the sudden deaths of two housemates. Rando then set to work.

He went back to the basement and rearranged some of the machinery, allowing him to send a folder back in time to the Jack Allen Detective Agency that would get Jack Allen on the case. He also sent a copy of the time basement's schematics to himself in the past, ensuring that the time loop would be self-sustaining. Sure that he had wrapped up the loose ends, he went and sat down in his chair in the chat room, resting at long last.

Return to FUC - Frequently Updated Content

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests