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Interplosion: The Second Uprising

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AzogAzaxAzazel

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Post Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:21 am

Interplosion: The Second Uprising

2 weeks, 4 days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 45 seconds after the events of The First Rising...

The residents of the manor were enjoying breakfast in the dining room that was perfectly fine if you ignored the gaping hole in the wall that is roughly phallic in nature. No one really missed Morbid, seeing as he turned into a giant penis monster that threatened all of creation, and for the most part everyone trusted Azog and Xicon...

“Why exactly aren’t Xicon and I allowed to sit next to each other?” Azog asked as he drank a fruity beverage from his tall glass that was impractically tall. “Because,” SHG pointed out, still upset over him burning her arms, “you guys threatened to take over the mansion, kill us, and unleashed a giant penis on the world!” Xicon chuckled. “Yes, clearly that was our intention all along, Operation “Giant Goddamn Peniszilla.” Look, we told you before, we thought the MacGuffin Muffin was important and wanted to share it with the world.” There was a murmur of agreement, but Rando spoke up in protest. “Even still, you guys shouldn’t be allowed to be so close to each other to prevent another uprising.”

Azog had to laugh at that. “You guys do realize our meth lab is back, right? And that the only time you see us is during meals? We spend just about all day workiing on increasing the purity of our product. 99.7% just isn’t enough. So I don’t see how exactly keeping us separated from each other during meals stops us from plotting another uprising.” The table grew quite as everyone pondered what Azog just said. “Sassafras” McWeird said as he went back to drinking his nutrient slurpee.

“Wait,” Zaphod spoke up, “why exactly are we eating breakfast at 1:38 in the morning?” bob reached over and smacked him for asking such a dumb question. “Every time is breakfast time, dipshit.” He said and everyone got a good chuckle, forgetting to notice there was an additional empty seat at the table...
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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Deimos

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Post Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:41 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Good start so far, but will it top Xicons tale? I have faith
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AzogAzaxAzazel

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Post Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:49 am

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Chapter 1 - Hey Look! Some Plot!:

About a week or seven later, the mansion had finally been fixed due to Riovas finding the “auto-fix” button Rando had installed underneath the pantry floor, and everything had returned to a somewhat normal state. Zaphod, bob, McWeird, and Deimos were all lounging around the game room when they suddenly had an intense craving for pizza. “Pizza,” McWeird said as he and bob played an intense game of Mao despite neither of them knowing how to play. “Yeah man, I could go for some pizza. With cheese. And pepperoni. And mushrooms. And cheese. And-” Zaphod was cut off by Deimos flinging a chair into his face. “What we need,” He said with a manly voice dripping with Australian might, “is deep dish.” Bob nodded, McWeird potentially agreed by saying “Bubblegum” and Zaphod groaned from his concussion.

The four, well three since Zaphod was still out, of them waited impatiently by the front door for a half hour before the pizza guy rang arrived. “FINALLY!” McWeird shouted as bob paid for the pizza with Rando’s credit card. As the walked away from the door, they heard the pizza guy complain about a lack of tip, and so Deimos threw a knife into his car door, as is the Australian custom for tipping. As they ate their deep dish pizza, Tod walked in asking if they had seen Azog or Xicon around recently. “Nope,” Deimos said, tearing into his slice as if it were a piece of meat. “Not since breakfast,” bob said while trying to funnel some pizza down Zaphod’s unconscious throat. “Attic,” McWeird said drinking his pizza... somehow.

Tod became concerned at this, he was still one of the few who believed that the two meth-cookers would find a way to take over again. He decided to go up to their lab in the attic to make sure they weren’t up to something. Walking the halls, Tod kept hearing some rattling in the AC system. “Gonna have to have Rio look at that,” he said aloud to no one but the narrator, reaching the bottom of the steps that lead to the attic, Tod made sure to pull out a vial with a picture of a baby on it. “Yeah, this’ll do, no one ever suspects the baby bottle” he once again said to the narrator that he didn’t know was there.

Ascending the steps, he could catch a faint whiff of the smells associated with a meth lab. Pulling his shirt over his nose to act like a different piece of cloth over his nose, Tod knocked on the door of the lab. After about 15 seconds, it cracked and Tod could see a small portion of a gas mask before the door closed again, some locks came undone, and Azog stepped out really quickly before shutting the door. Pulling off the mask, he gave Tod an annoyed look. “Is this important? Because Xicon and I are on the brink of an important breakthrough.” Tod remained cautious, the scar on his chest twinging at the memory the last time he came here. He decided to be blunt, in an attempt to catch Azog off guard. “Are you an Xicon planning another Uprising?”

The shocked look on Azog’s face brought an internal smirk to Tod’s internal face. “Why exactly would you think we were? We’ve been cooped up in here for a while now.” Tod gave him a skeptical look, “Really? Why would I ask the two people who already lead one uprising if they were planning another one since they’ve been absent for a few weeks? Oh gee, I wonder.” Azog got irritated at this, “Alright, you don’t believe me, here.” He gave Tod his mask and grabbed a spare off the wall. “Come, I’ll show you.” Tod considered it for a moment, but decided they wouldn’t risk blowing themselves up, and put the mask on.

The lab was at least 15 degrees hotter than the rest of the mansion, and there was a small layer of fog on the floor from the various chemicals and/or potential evilness of the two Benders. “What’s he doing here?” Xicon asked with a muffled voice as he carefully extracted a thick, clear fluid from a vat before closing and latching the lib. “He thinks we’re planning another uprising. So I figured I’d show him what we’re doing in here to soothe his worried nerves.” Tod let the jape go, and began looking around for anything suspicious. Everything seemed to be in place, though several odd-looking mannequins caused him to ask what they were. “Those are artificial human analogues,” Xicon explained while examining the fluid he’d extracted, “While they don’t have a consciousness or are living, they allow us to test the affects of our product as we change the formula. It’s really quite basic.” Tod gave them a wary look, but noticing the various health monitoring equipment, he figured they were telling the truth.

“Alright, I guess I was just paranoid, sorry for accusing you guys for planning something.” Tod apologized as Azog lead him back through the maze of lab supplies towards the door. “No need to say sorry,” Azog said, “you were right after all.” The realization of what Azog said struck Tod as he felt a needle jab into his neck and warm sensation spread through his body. The bottle with the baby on it rolled out of his hand under a table as the world faded to black.

“Man, I thought he was NEVER going to check on us,” Xicon said as he opened a side passageway in the wall while Azog dragged Tod’s body over to it. “Yeah, you would’ve thought that the either he or SHG would’ve tried to keep a better eye on us, oh well.” A pair of flying gloves that seemed to be made of earth came out of the passageway and grabbed Tod’s body and hoisted him into the air. “You know what to do,” Xicon spoke to an unseen figure before he closed the door. Azog swatted at the fly that always seemed to be buzzing around their lab. “You know, we should really get rid of this thing, it’s kinda annoying.” Xicon gave him an amused look, “Dude, it’s a fly, it’s not gonna cause a contamination or anything, besides, we have a schedule to keep. Why risk setting it back over a single fly?” Azog gave a shrug and the two went back to whatever it is they’re up to.

Will Tod be alright? Will Azog and Xicon be successful this time? Will the delivery boy be able to get the knife wound on his car fixed? All these questions and more might be answered in the next installment of INTERPLOSION! THE SECOND UPRISING: THE WRATH OF [SPOILER]
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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Deimos

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Post Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:04 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

I had to look up what deep dish pizza is and that shit looks awesome.
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bobthecrusher

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Post Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:13 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Huhm...another mysterious earth bender? Can it be that Morbid found a cure for his....condition?
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Deimos

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Post Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:54 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

"Uh, well Doc I need a cure for being a giant penis."
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Post Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:42 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Chapter 2: Let’s All Have Some Bacon:

His back was sore, his neck was sore, and his left pinky toe hurt like a bitch. Groaning, he tried to remember what happened to him, and like a terrible movie cliche it all came rushing back to him. The game room, the pizza, the lab, Azog shoving a needle into his neck, the jockstrap incident, all of it. Tod, who was shirtless for some reason, woke up in a room he never knew existed until this moment when he woke up in it. Also, he was tied to a chair.

“Hey, where the hell am I? Is this some evil torture chamber? Because if so you’re doing it wrong.” He said to someone he was hoping was there, and lo and behold there was, but Tod couldn’t see that. He continued to try and struggle against the earth-ropes that were keeping him secured to the chair, when he realized it was earthbent there. “Morbid?! Are you back? From the Phallic Beyond?” Tod said, slightly fearing the potential zombie penis that could be anywhere in the darkly lit room.

The figure approached Tod with a very menacing gait. The figure appeared to be wearing a robe with a really cool hat, the shadows obscuring its face. “Okay, stop with the act, who are you? Are you working for Azog and Xicon? You are, aren’t you? Yeah, you totally a-” Tod was cut off by a glove made of earth shooting out and covering his mouth. “Shut up.” the figure that sounds like a male so we’ll just assume it’s a guy said. “Who I work for is not important. What they are up to is not important. There is no Uprising in the Mansion. Here we are safe. Here we are free.” The man then bent a ring of metal up around him and placed a lantern on it. Lighting it, he then began to bend the lantern around the track, Tod’s eyes began following it. “There is no Uprising in the Mansion. Here we are safe, here we are free.” The man repeated. “Azog and Xicon are up to nothing. There is no Uprising in the Mansion. Here we are safe, here we are free.”

Tod’s eyes began to glaze over...

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It was lunchtime when Tod, now re-shirted, joined everyone in the Mansion for a banquet of grilled cheese. “Hey Tod, how’d everything go?” Zaphod asked as he kept a wary eye on Deimos, who kept looking at him while sharpening one of his many knives. “Everything’s fine, Azog and Xicon aren’t up to anything, just trying to improve their meth.” He replied in a somewhat more monotone voice than usual. “Concern,” McWeird said as he was trying to fix his juicer so he could eat some grilled cheese. “I’m fine McWeird, just tired, I’m going to go lay down.” Tod then got up without finishing his sandwich.

“Do you think something might’ve happened to him?” SHG asked, looking at the retreating figure with concern. “He’s probably just bummed out he wasn’t right about Azog and Xicon, you know how he never really got to fight them over what happened last time.” Bob pointed out. “Revenge,” McWeird said as he gave a grilled cheese to his favorite spider, Mrs Bitey, “Yeah, maybe he’s just out for revenge, I would be too if I had been kidnapping and forced to shit in the corner.” Zaphod said now trying to climb over the table to escape his Aussie Arch-nemesis, who for some reason now had a crocodile draped over his shoulders like a savage river-predator-scarf.

“I think they might’ve did something to him, maybe the brainwashed him!” SHG said immediately fearing who else Azog and Xicon might have in their clutches. “Or maybe they actually made an army of cyborgs that look just like us and are planning on having us fight ourselves!” Bob said sarcastically while rolling his eyes. “Honestly SHG, I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about, except that rattling in the vents. Hey Rio, did you ever find out what that was?” Rio nodded, “Yeah, it was just some rats that had gotten into the ventilation, I got the ones I found, but there’s definitely gonna be more, so better get used to that noise.”

“Should we warn Nick? He lives in there after all.” Dawn said with concern regarding their insane friend. No one had seen Nick or Major Mustachio ever since the first uprising, though they heard him rambling on occasion about pictures, pictures of Spider-Man. “I tried when I was in there,” Rio explained, “but the doors to his room were closed, I slipped a note in there just to make sure he was informed.” N7 then walked in, to the astonishment of absolutely no one. “Hey guys, what’s going on?” Bob chuckled, “SHG thinks that Azog and Xicon have brainwashed Tod, there are rats in the vents, and Nick continues to be crazy.” N7 just nodded as he began eating a sandwich, amused by the look on Zaphod’s face as Deimos keeps trying to poke him with a machete, unaware that machetes are for hacking, not stabbing.

“What did I do to piss you off, Deimos?!” Zaphod yelled before managing to duck away and started running for his froggy-life. “You were born.” The Aussie responded before stalking after his prey. Zaphod was so busy pissing his pants he didn’t notice the box that the narrator conveniently placed in front of him. Running straight into the box, Zaphod proceeded to fall down approximately 14 flights of stairs the narrator had conveniently built for this exact moment!

“Well, that happened.” Bob said before returning to his grilled cheese. “I can’t believe you all are ignoring the fact that Azog and Xicon are-” “Azog and Xicon are doing what now?” Azog said walking into the room, his fancy purple scarf billowing in a breeze that shouldn’t be there and yet it was. Xicon came in behind him chuckling. “Honestly, it’s like you guys think we would be so silly as to plan another Uprising so shortly after the first one failed. Not to mention the fact that we’re unaware of any magical artifacts that Rando might have that would warrant an Uprising.” SHG scowled, “I still don’t trust you two, I don’t know why Rando allowed you guys to stay.” It was at this point Rando decided to show up in the story.

“SHG, I’ve explained this before, I let them stay here because otherwise things would get boring. You have to admit, even though it may result in a few deaths, uprisings are fun.” SHG just stared at Rando with a dumbfounded look before stomping out of the room, casting a nasty glare back at Azog and Xicon. “Well,” Azog said, “that was rude of her.” The two scientists stayed for a sandwich or two before returning to their lab, unaware of someone who the narrator says is SHG following them.

SHG was surprisingly able to keep hidden from the pair of dashingly handsome scientists even though the hallways have zero suits of armor to hide in. “I’ll catch them in the act, no plan like this has ever failed!” SHG thought to herself as she tip-toed behind all the way up the stairs that lead to the attic. The door was locked so, left with no other options, she decided to bite the bullet, and knocked...

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“COME BACK HERE YOU AMPHIBIOUS BASTARD!” Deimos shouted as he ran after a fleeing Zaphod who had stolen the Aussie’s Crocoscarf because he has a death wish. “When do you think they’ll just admit they love each other?” bob asked McWeird and Dawn as they sat in the standing room trying to get “Moves Like Jagger” out of their heads. “I hope it’s soon,” Dawn said “it’s plainly obvious that they’re meant to be together.” “Jagger” McWeird said as he nodded his head giving absolutely no indication as to what he actually was saying about the subject at hand. “Yes McWeird, I’ve got the song stuck in my head too, no idea why thought, it’s probably not plot relevant.” It was at this point that SHG walked in.

“So SHG, did you catch Azog and Xicon in the middle of their dangerous scheme?” bob teased and received a blank stare in return from the waterbender. “Azog and Xicon are up to nothing, there is no uprising in the Mansion.” She then proceeded to leave the room, almost running into Rando on the way out. Rando ran in screaming, “WHO WANTS SOME BACON I STOLE FROM SPACEBASS!?” And that’s how the chapter ended.

“The time is soon approaching, comrades.” Wait, who said that? I said the chapter was over! WHO’S TALKING!? “We shall wipe out these insignificant animals in the name of our Overlord!” Seriously, WHO IS SAYING THIS! “We shall fight them on the beaches, we shall fight them on the lands.” CHURCHILL? IS THAT YOU? “And more importantly, we shall fight them, IN THEIR HOME! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!” The narrator then pissed his pants at the sound of the rallying cry that came as a result of this mysterious speaker, unaware of the glowing red eye sneaking up behind him....


Will the narrator be alright? Why is he being roped into this? Will anyone be able to stop Azog and Xicon’s plan? Who is this mysterious speaker? All these questions and more won’t be answered, in the next installment of INTERPLOSION! THE SECOND UPRISING: THE WRATH [SPOILER]!
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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Dawnkitty7

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Post Fri Jun 29, 2012 7:25 am

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

I wonder who's gonna be the one to stop the evil this time? SHG and Tod are down now.
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AzogAzaxAzazel

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Post Tue Jul 10, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Chapter 3: Time for shit to go down:

He awoke with a start; eyes searching for a clue as to where he is. Where am I? The Narrator said to himself as he noticed the restraints keeping him bound to the- Wait. Am I really narrating what is happening to me in the third person as if I am not currently a hostage? That’s just messed up. What kind of sadistic, devilishly attractive, bastard would do this to someone? Wait... I DIDN’T CALL HIM DEVILISHLY ATTRACTIVE. I meant to say ridiculously devilishly attrac-OH FUCK YOU!

... Anyway, the Narrator stared blankly at his cell door, awaiting the monster that kidnapped him. YOU CAN’T CAPTURE ME, the Narrator said, I’M THE NARRATOR! Without me, this story goes nowhere, so you’d better release me now, or suff my wr-The Narrator’s bitchy voice, FUCK YOU, was cut off by the sound of the door unlocking and opening. The figure was silhouetted and therefore could not be seen even by the Narrator’s all seeing eyes. Well that’s just not fair, the Narrator complained as the figure approached him.

Are you going to let me go? The Narrator asked as he struggled in vain against his restraints, still binding him to the- “Of course I’m going to let you go, I’m a nice guy,” the figure responded in an odd voice. It sounded like the voice of someone much smaller and more dictator like then the person standing in front of him. Who are you? What do you want? The Narrator began struggling with as much strength as his puny Narrator muscles could muster. Okay, seriously, that’s just mean. “Me? I want nothing. I am merely a servant of my master; a pawn in his grand scheme.” Oh, so you’re just a puppet then? The figure chuckled, “Sure, you could call me that.” It was at this point the figure began to mess with some valves on the wall that the stupid Narrator didn’t notice until he was made aware of them. IF I WASN’T AWARE OF THEM HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME CALL ME STUPID? He stupidly asked the All Knowing Author, once again not noticing the gas filling the room.

The room soon was filled with some kind of gas. The Narrator began coughing as his stupid Narrator lungs stupidly inhaled the noxious fumes. What... What is this? The figure remained still as the Narrator began to feel a strange sensation in his head. “I suppose you could call it a wake-up call.” The figure said as it cut the restraints that bound the Narrator to the- Wait, what are you doing? You’re not going to kill me? “Why would I kill you? What purpose would that serve?” The Narrator started to realize he hadn’t been thinking with a clear head recently. Oh my god, you’re trying to help me aren’t you? “Why would I help you? What purpose would that serve?” Okay, no more ice cream koans you jackwad, just tell me how to get out of here so I can continue with this story?

“Oh, just go down the hall to left, past the weapons room, the torture chamber and the coffee machine.” Alright thanks, but before I go, who exactly are you? “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Yes, I would, that’s why I asked. “Well then good for you.” So... you’re not going to tell me who you are? “Nope.” Why not? Wait don’t you da- “Why would I tell you? What purpose would that serve?” Goddammit I hate you. “Good. Bye now.”

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The members of the Interplosion Mansion were sitting down for a nice breakfast. The table was alive with discussion of the various fandoms that the residents enjoyed. All was peaceful and calm.... until Azog and Xicon walked in. “Hi there, we’re taking over.” Azog said cheerfully as they sat down in their seats near Rando. “Um... what?” Rando said neverously while the other members except for Tod and SHG became uneasy. Xicon smiled at Rando, “We, are taking over. Where are the keys to the Mansion?” Rando started looking around for some kind of giant robot or an army to help them, but failed to.

“Confused?” Azog asked, “Allow me.” With that, he snapped his fingers, causing Tod to rip his coat off, revealing a vest made of explosives, and SHG to lift a giant pile of explosives onto the table. “You see,” Azog explained, “after our first attempt to liberate the Mansion failed we got to thinking. Why not take over for the sake of being the leaders of the Mansion? Next thing you know, we’re brainwashing people into helping us. Funny how that works, isn’t it?” Rando looked at the other members of the Mansion, their faces frozen in fear, before responding.

“You wouldn’t blow yourselves up, that would be stupid. So I don’t think I’ll give you the-” Rando was cut off by the sound of Xicon laughing. “You really think that we’d be stupid enough to come up with a plan that results in us dying?” He laughed again at the look that crossed Rando’s face; Azog chuckled before explaining further. “While it would in fact seem silly that we’d blow ourselves up, you seem to have forgotten that I’m a firebender.” His smirk said the rest as Rando attempted to find a way out of this situation. “Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about your energy shields.” Xicon said, “In fact, that’s why we made this plan. If the three of us are the only ones to survive the explosion, then you’ll have everyone else’s blood on your hands for the rest of your life. Now, the keys?”

Rando hung his head in defeat before reaching into his pocket. “Alright, here they ar-” He was cut off by N7 stumbling into the room, several tiny knives sticking out of his back. “They’re.... coming....” he was able to say before collapsing to the floor. “Oh my god, they killed N7!” Bob exclaimed. “You bastards!” Shouted Deimos as he reached for his killing-knife. The Aussie rushed to the entrance of the dining room, only to discover that no one was heading towards it.

The doors suddenly slammed shut, trapping the residents inside. A hiss could be heard as a gas began to fill the air. The noxious fumes caused everyone to start coughing as they tried their best to bust the doors down. Azog and Xicon shared a glance, before quickly taking action. Xicon bent all the water in the room and flung it as several ice spikes, striking where the hinges are. Azog, not wanting to risk the gas being flammable, deactivated the bombs. “Bob! Crush the hinges!” he yelled as Zaphod collapsed from the gas.

Bob, never leaving his room without his trusty smashing hammer, ran towards the door ready to strike. Unfortunately, he tripped over Dawn’s art supplies and fell, the gas making him feel weaker by the second. Coughing, he tried to throw his hammer at the door, but it hit McWeird in the head, who went down with a cry of “SANDWICH!” Rio tried to disassemble the door via hitting it with a wrench, but his blows became weaker and weaker before he too fell to the ground.

Rando’s energy shields allowed him to resist the toxic vapors, but he tripped over his tutu and banged his head on the table. Deimos’ natural Aussie-empowered immune system was doing its best to hold out, but even he too began to feel his head swimming. As a last ditch effort, he flung Zaphod at the door, and managed to crack it severely enough for him to punch through. However, his strength left him before he could doing anything else. Dawn gave a frightened shriek before passing out.

Azog and Xicon, having the forethought to hold their breaths, managed to open the doors from the outside thanks to the hole Deimos made. As they stumbled into the hallways, they were struck in the back of the head. Before they blacked out, Azog said to Xicon “Should’ve gone with the robot-ninjas...”

When all the house mates were down, a figure emerged from the shadows. He strode towards the head of the table, several others following behind him in lockstep. The figure, being only about 3 feet tall, pulled himself up onto Rando’s chair. He stood and looked over the defeated members of the Mansion and began laughing. “Now you see comrades! Now you see what our leader can do! Viva la Revolucion!” He said, raising his fist into the air, his comrades cheering along and mimicking him. “For too long we have been forced to hide in the shadows! For too long, our leader has been forgotten and misunderstood, but not by us! No, we stand by him, ever faithful! And now that his oppressors lay defeated and conquered around us, we have won!” The cry of victory sounded throughout the Mansion. “All hail [SPOILER]! All hail [SPOILER]! All hail [SPOILER]! ALL HAIL [SPOILER]! ALL HAIL [SPOILER]! ALL HAIL [SPOILER]!” The minions chanted as a new figure descended from the ceiling; a single red eye glowing as it surveyed the bodies.

Who is this new figure? Why do they employ tactical midgets? What is going to happen to the members of the Interplosion Mansion!? Stay tune for the next chapter of INTERPLOSION! THE SECOND UPRISING: THE WRATH OF [SPOILER]!
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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AzogAzaxAzazel

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Post Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:12 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Chapter 4: [SPOILER]’s About To Get Spoiled:

The room was cold. Almost unbearably so. That was what greeted the members of the Interplosion Mansion. Well, that and a bunch of computer monitors and TV screens showing loops of various moments of lives of the Interplosionaries. Suffice it to say, they were creeped the hell out. “Where the fuck are we?” Mari asked as everyone struggled with the shackles that chained the to the wall. “My guess would be somewhere bad.” Tod said sarcastically. “Hey guys, maybe we should call for help?” “Yes Zaphod,” Xicon replied, “calling for help will totally work when we are in an unknown location and won’t alert our captors of our attempt at escaping.” A creepy laugh brought attention to the ceiling of the room, where a mechanical spider-like person was descending.

The being was large, at least thirty feet tall, and appeared to be wearing a mask over its face. Only a large red eye could be seen behind it. “Check want to see Interplosionaries people are captured like.” It said with a male voice that was covered with a mechanical accent. “Oh my god,” roast said for the first time in this story, “ it’s Tharol. We’ve been captured by Tharol.” The captive Mansionites were all sharing confused and astonished glances when a maniacal laugh drew their attention back towards the Robotic Murder Spider in the room.

“No. See that would be too easy. Just blame it on the weirdo who says nonsense. Well, seeing as I’m a nice guy, I won’t do that. Because I’m the crazy weirdo who says nonsense! No one else. So now I bet you can figure out who I am.” This was met with stunned silence. A silence broken by Dawn, “You’re Tharol?” Before anyone could blink, a robotic arm shot out and crushed Dawn. Blood and guts flying out everywhere, Zaphod screamed like a little girl.

“Haha. Hahahaha. Hehe. Ho haha hehehehahohoo. HAHAHA. No. No I’m not Tharol. Why in the name of George Washington Carver would I be Tharol? That wouldn’t make any goddamn sense at all! ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCK WITH MY HEAD!? HUH! ARE YOU?” No one said a word, as they were currently scared out of their minds. “No. No it’s me. Nick.” With that, he took off his mask, revealing an unsettlingly accurate reproduction of Nick’s face. “Wasn’t that obvious? Did none of you notice that I was just gone? No. You didn’t. You completely ignored me. Ignored me and my severe case of COMPLETE FUCKING INSANITY.” Several of the Interplosionaries stayed quiet, others were looking away, Azog began breathing deeply and made eye contact with Xicon.

Taking the hint, he said to Nick, “We never forgot about you Nick. We-” He was cut off by another cackle. “Nick? No. I’m not Nick anymore. I’m something bigger. Something better. Something more Robot-y. And something less sticky. I’m not Nick, I’m JACKaL. AND DON’T EVER FUCKING FORGET IT.” Xicon blinked before continuing, “Alright then, JACKaL. Sorry about that. But as I was saying, we never forgot you, nor did we call you crazy.” Once more, JACKaL laughed. “I don’t give a flippity doo-da fuck if you thought I was crazy. I know that I’m crazy. You wanna know why? I CARVE PUPPETS OUT OF TREES THAT GROW IN THE GRAVEYARDS OF FUCKING MENTAL ASYLUMS! SPECIFICALLY THE GRAVEYARDS OF MENTAL ASYLUMS. NO OTHER TREE FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, especially if that bastard Sylvester Stallone touched them, WOULD DO. LITERALLY. NONE.” As if they knew they were being talked about, JACKaL’s puppet army filed into the room, led by a restored Major Mustachio.

“And not only did I carve these puppets while I was LIVING IN THE GODDAMN AIR VENTS, but I used them TO TALK TO YOU GUYS WHILE I WAS IN HERE. If you thought I even had a shred of sanity from reading stories about Balto getting EATEN or Woody being forced-fed his own eyeballs by Bo-Peep, the sharks gang-raping Dory, or even Rango turning into a female and pole-dancing to pay for her interperative dance school and falling in love with the Hamburgaler that I would be ANYFUCKINGWHERE NEAR SANE then you clearly need to open your fucking eyes. BECAUSE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SANITY LEFT IN ANY PART OF MY BODY.” JACKaL began to circle the large room, continuing to speak with decreasing clarity. “You all mocked me. You called me the embodiment of the chat, the embodiment of so many things. Well let me tell you what I’m the embodiment of. Power. Power and the ability to crush anything I want. Why am I doing this? Simple. I AM COMPLETELY FUCKING CRAZY, SO WHY NOT GO OUT AND DESTROY ANYTHING THAT I-”

“Sir,” Major Mustachio interrupted.

”WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT” JACKaL bellowed as it rounded on the Major. The puppet didn’t speak for a second, and appeared to be pissing its pants. “I... I was just going to inform you that we were able to find the lab.” Azog, seeing that he probably wasn’t going to get another chance, exhaled a ball of fire out of his mouth upwards to the shackles around his wrists. The heated chain gave way easily enough and with a swift motion Azog broke the shackles on his ankles. “Iron Man time.” He said before using firebending jets and began to fly towards a vent. “COME AND GET ME YOU INSANE ARTHROPOD!” He taunted before flinging a bolt of lightning at JACKaL, missing him, but freeing Xicon’s hands.

“What the- OH YOU ARE SO GETTING SQUISHED!” JACKaL said before transforming into a jet-like form. “I’LL SHOW YOU HOW TO FLY YOU SCARF-WEARING PRICK!” He screamed before giving chase, leaving the puppet army to turn and face the other scientist. Xicon pushed his glasses up, causing them to shine. “Well now, it’s us against you, how unfortunate.” Major Mustachio laughed, “Yes, maybe for you, seeing as you’re clearly outnumbered.” Xicon smirked, “That may be so, but you’re clearly outmatched.” With a quick flick of his wrists, he pulled the water out of the bag he had taken to keeping strapped to his back. Another flick, and the cuffs around the wrists of the Interplosions were boken. A third, and their ankle cuffs followed suit. As they heard the sounds of Azog baiting JACKaL around the vents, the members of the Mansion looked to each other before shouting “GET THESE FUCKERS!” and charged.
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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Deimos

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Post Fri Jul 13, 2012 12:09 am

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Lord Tharol? Someone called this. Well done to them
Captain of the Interplosion Night Watch/Hate Guard. First to be banned.

Glorious victories in LPW thread: 15 and one as Pravado

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McWeird007

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Post Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:02 am

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

I KNEW IT
"I'm actually shitting" -Edward Young, 2015
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AzogAzaxAzazel

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Post Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:27 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Oh hey, when did that extra text get there?
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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bobthecrusher

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Post Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:12 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Clever girl
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McWeird007

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Post Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:04 am

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

You bitch
"I'm actually shitting" -Edward Young, 2015
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AzogAzaxAzazel

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Post Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:46 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Chapter 4.5: INTERPLOSIONMANIA! THE SMACKDOWN OF THE CENTURY!:

“STRIKE THEM DOWN IN THE NAME OF JACKaL!” Shouted Major Mustachio as the Interplosionaries charged the horde of puppets. The artificial beings formed a line in front of their commander, pulled out their machine guns, and opened fire. “SONOFABITCH!” Cannor yelled as the Mansion dwellers scrambled for cover to escape the torrent of lead that threatened to turn them into a fine red paste. Hiding behind a bunch of crates, since everyone knows crates stop bullets, the house mates needed to think of a plan of attack.

“My plan is attack!” Quipped Deimos as he flexed his arms, causing knives to grow out of his wrists. “You can grow knives out of your wrists?” Xicon asked with an astonished voice. “Of course,” the Aussie replied, “why else do you think Hugh Jackman was cast as Wolverine?” Xicon blinked, “Makes sense.” Deimos smirked, “That’s right, mate. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about have a right rip-snorter with these pikers. And before they know it it’ll be good night Irene!“ “WE GET IT YOU’RE FROM AUSTRALIA!” Major Mustachio exclaimed over the sound of gunfire. “HA! SHOW WHAT YOU KNOW! I’m from Space Australia.” Zaphod got a confused look on his face. “... Space Australia?” Deimos nodded, “More specifically, Space Sydney. GO SPACE ROOSTERS!” Bob spoke up. “So... it’s Australia...” “In Space.”

Before anymore questions concerning his status as an actual alien came up, the Space Aussie leaped into the hail of bullets with a sound of his barbaric yawp. As he ran towards the formation of puppets, the bullets seemed to bounce right off him. With a roaring cry, he sliced through the first battalion; splinters flying everywhere to accompany the screams of the wooden abominations. With cries of “JACKaL!” the puppets drew blades of their own and charged the unstoppable warrior that is Deimos.

“Oh god,” Cringed Zaphod, “I’m really glad he never tried to hurt me that badly.” The sounds of gunfire had been replaced with the sound of knives shredding through wood and the bloodlust-filled war cackle of Deimos. “Jesus christ!” Exclaimed Mari. “He’s utterly destroying those puppets!” A sickening crunch caused the Interplosionaries to cringe once more. “Wow,” said Xicon, “I didn’t know a puppet’s spine could break like that.... I didn’t even know that puppet’s had spines.”

Meanwhile in the air vents...

“OH DEAR SPACE JESUS I’M BEING CHASED BY A GIANT ROBOT!” Azog yelled as he flew through the air vents with JACKaL hot on the pursuit. The mechanical maniac had transformed into a thing that seemed to resemble a cross between a jet fighter and a blender. As they raced through the seemingly endless ventilation shafts, Azog thought to himself, “Why do we have air vents that can fit a jet fighter? That seems really impracti- OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT” He had to veer quickly into a side vent to avoid the lasers that were currently being shot at him.

“I need a way to distract him, if only there was a giant dragon to point out....” With no such Draconis ex Machina just laying around, Azog decided to use the only other way he knew to escape JACKaL: Cartoons. Rounding a corner quickly, he turned his back to the corridor. When JACKaL raced up in front of him, Azog was wearing a felt beard. “Hey, you see a scarf-wearing prick flying around here?” JACKaL asked, apparently fooled by the hasty disguise. Azog simply shook his head in response. “DAMMIT!” Cursed JACKaL, “Oh well, I’m sure he couldn’t have gone far. Thanks for your help, felt-beard-wearing prick. I’ll make sure your death is painless.” JACKaL then flew off in pursuit of absolutely no one.

Azog flew off in a completely different direction, eventually bursting out of the air vent and into the Mansion. “Wait a minute....” Azog said, “I’ve been flying for at least five minutes, and flown through miles of ventilation. How am I still in the Mansi- Oh forget it we’re fighting a giant robot and his puppet minions.” Racing to the lab, he forced the door open to reveal that the puppets hadn’t destroyed it yet. Running to the back, Azog picked up a remote control and smirked. Grabbing some supplies off the workbench, he headed back into the hallway and started for the nearest air vent.

Back at the slaughter...

“DIE PUPPETS! DIE!” Screamed Deimos as he continued to demolish the endless waves of puppets.
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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Deimos

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Post Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:05 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

I shall report my pleasure to the Space Prime Minister
Captain of the Interplosion Night Watch/Hate Guard. First to be banned.

Glorious victories in LPW thread: 15 and one as Pravado

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AzogAzaxAzazel

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Post Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:17 am

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Make sure you fill out the Space paperwork
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.
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Randoman

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Post Sat Jul 21, 2012 5:49 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

Where did I go in the fighting?
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Deimos

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Post Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:22 pm

Re: Interplosion: The Second Uprising

"rip-snorter"? "pikers"? "good night irene"? What the bloody hell is this?
Captain of the Interplosion Night Watch/Hate Guard. First to be banned.

Glorious victories in LPW thread: 15 and one as Pravado

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