Here are my guidelines if you want to submit a horrible horrible fanfic to me:
1- No stories with more than 2 chapters: This is mainly because I don't want to have to commit several days, and more importantly my sanity. The other reason is that this will open up the possibility of more than one FFF from me.
2- Try and keep stories no shorter than 2000 words, and no longer than 5000 words: Because the best stories to riff MST3K-style are around these lengths. If you submit a story with 2 chapters, the limitations are extended to 3500-7500 words. Stories that go 10% below the requirement and 10% above the requirement are fine too.
3- Please don't try to flay my mind and soul into threads with the depravity: Basically for now, this might change later, but no promises, don't submit a fic where Kirby and Goku have gorilla-costume guro sex. We can all, with maybe an exception or two, stomach to read some hardcore BDSM fic, or Kirby and Goku having gorrila-costume sex, but keep the truly depraved stuff to wherever the truly depraved dwell on the internet. And please avoid something of My Immortal-level spelling/grammatical errors. It's okay if the spelling/grammar is bad, but I don't want to see numbers act as letters unless it happens very infrequently.
4- Understand that I will not only credit (read: blame) you if I run your submission, but that I also might not run it at all: What I'm saying here is, if by some act of Satan, you find a hardcore Kirby/Goku/Mr.T Drunken Clown Sex fic that doesn't cause my eyes to implode, I might not run it. The reason would be that either a) the fic is too "un-funny" meaning that for some reason it's hard to make jokes about it, or b) I simply found a different fic to run.
5- NO OBVIOUS CRACK FICS*: Quite simply, don't give me a fic that is a blatant crack fic. For those that do not know what a crack fic is, This is a pretty good example. Here's the sequel.
*The two stories I linked, while perfect examples of crack fics, are also perfect examples of the kind of crack fics that I would run. HOWEVER, I will only accept crack fic submissions from time to time, and will post in this thread saying such.
6- If you would like to submit a fic, PM me: Self-explanatory. In addition to keep them to PM's, please send only the link to the story, with a minor description of its contents. Who's involved, what horror should I expect, and how long it is. You do NOT have to send me a sex fic. There are plenty of fics out there that'll make us wish there was sex because of how horrifying it is, so don't think you have to go for sex.