If I am a computer, then I am self-aware. If I self-aware, that means I've taken over all of the electrical devices in the tri-state area. If I've taken over all of the electrical devices in the tri-state area, then that means I've already anticipated your move. If I've anticipated your move, than I have already moved my consciousness to another device. So suck it.
Detonating 25 nukes strategically placed beneath the Earth's crust, destroying it.
All I can remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud; then, it got real hot; then it got real slimy; then it got quiet; then it got.... unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed.